The demonization of jealousy and envy in society irks me.
First, emotions are neither “good” nor “bad”, they just are. Emotions exist naturally in the human experience never looking to be categorized in such ways.
Maybe we could say there are some emotions that are “lower vibration” but even when those words are used, I feel a tinge of judgement from the commentator.
Let me say this: Feeling jealous or envious is okay. It is normal. You are not a bad person, “low vibrational” person, etc. You are human experiencing a very human emotion that is (almost always) indicating you of something deeper.
I found that many “low vibrational” emotions are an indicator of something deeper that is marching its way towards the surface as to say, “Hey there! Can you acknowledge & unpack me?”
Coming To The Surface
When it comes to jealousy or envy, what most likely is desiring to be acknowledge is some sort of insecurity. Insecurity meaning feeling “unsafe”: Unsafe in your relationship, in your body, in your life, in your possessions, your value, and more.
In my life, there was a moment where I felt envious of a friend’s love life– Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, it’s also okay to be envious or jealous of friends. Again, you’re not a bad person xx
Thankfully, I already un-demonized envy and was able to comfortably, uncomfortably sit with my emotions. I began to investigate where my envy was truly coming from.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to have a great love life. I actually had hoped that her love life would evolve into her receiving the care she deserved. No. It was that I was now faced with my fear and limiting beliefs around my worthiness of romance.
Seeing how “easy” it was for her to fall into a relationship and receive treatment that I subconsciously thought I’d only dream about was difficult.
It was like my brain was saying, “See. This exists and you still don’t have it. You never will.”
And that thought steamed from about a decade of being inundated with negative beliefs surrounding my worth.
My envy came from feeling insecure in my worthiness as a person.
Follow The Green Brick Road
Granted, it took me a couple of months to remove the layers of my envy to discover their reason for existing. But once I did, it let me towards a more permanent state of high vibration.
I was able to develop effective tools with my therapist on ways to pull myself out of that green spiral. And, as I worked through those emotions, I was able manage my emotional responses because I knew there was something else beneath my envy.
And that’s the thing: Emotions are meant to be acknowledged, experienced, and honored.
When we fail to acknowledge their existence, especially when it comes to those low vibrational emotions, that is when things get ugly.
It isn’t the emotion itself, but our failure to hold space for that emotion that creates issues.
I think of it as a seed. When we push down our emotions, we bury them and what happens when you bury a seed? It roots.
That’s when we may turn into the “jealous” friend who changes the subject when our friends express their happiness, or spews backhanded compliments, or worse, turns towards harming others.
Of course, jealous or not, it’s never an excuse to do the things mentioned above just insight into how things can fester when not dealt with appropriately.
I feel as though the way society shames jealously and envy could be a factor as to why people don’t like to face those feelings. Feeling jealous or envious is already uncomfortable but then you have to worry about being seen as that weirdo who gets jealous.
Seeing tweets about how being jealous is “weirdo sh*t” or rhetorically asking, “How could anyone be jealous of a friend?” can cause major self-shame. Shame that eventually keeps us from following the green brick road into higher vibrational emotions.
To Get To The Peak, You Have To Start In The Valley
What I feel is important to remember is that lower vibrational emotions are often paths to the higher ones. I mean, it’s impossible to get to the peak of something without starting at the bottom.
As society or spiritualists continues to guilt us into remaining positive or high vibrational, we must remember that it’s okay to be human. It’s okay to feel “negative” sometimes. It’s okay to experience low vibrational emotions because you know what? It could be for the best.
It could be leading us towards something greater but we must first, acknowledge its presence within our lives.
And there may be sometimes where those negative emotions are too much to investigate at the moment, and when that’s the case, it’s okay to step away for a moment.
To think about something else, become present, take CARE of yourself, and then revisit those emotions.
Make sure to revisit those emotions.
At the end, the goal is to feel & release. Not only release the uncomfortable emotions but release the attachment to whatever is causing them, making it easier for to replace them with what you’d rather think, know, believe, etc.
Take care.
